A New Life for an Old 'Hero'
by Awesome Arod
Summary: In a world, one no life Mexican nerd writes a cringey fanfic about a anime and two dudes in spande. Indulge yourself with really convenient events to have characters from different franchises meet. Staring: an old guy, an even older guy, Mexicans running from a man named Donald, a blonde girl, a girl with a gun fetish, a bitch, and a neko. Why Deadpool, why did I let you post this


**Prologue**

 **Hola, so I have fallen in love with Logan and Deadpool, both so, so badass. I also like RWBY, and I love general WTF moments in stories. So I'm thinking, why not have a crossover of RWBY, but with Logan's seriousness and Deadpool's overall hilarious, disturbing, and offensive humor. Let's see how this plays out.**

 **Randomass Gas Station in Vale:**

A little girl with brown hair was walked into a gas station, she was wearing a denim jacket, a gray shirt with a rainbow on it, having blood stains as well. She wore some boots and had blood on the region of her hands where her knuckles were. She looked pissed as she looked back at a kiddie ride that was dented, had deep slashes, and was emitting smoke.

She went over to a snack aisle and pulled out a container of Pringles. She quickly pulled off the top of it and began to munch on them. She went to the fridges and grabbed a monster energy, eagerly trying to open it and taking a gulp of it.

She walked around some more in search of more items, with a worker looking kinda pissed. She then found a pair of sunglasses that had a light blue frame, some anthropomorphic fruit, and the words 'sweetie' on the sides of them. She quickly put them on and looked in the mirror to see who she looked as she munched on more Pringles.

"Hello there", said the cashier with arms crossed. She turned around to him with just a plain expression. "You know you have to pay for that right", he said to her. The girl tried to fast walk out of the store but the cashier caught up to her and he stood in front of the exit with a not so happy expression on his face. The girl held the two items as she was just hungry and thirsty.

"Are your parents around here", he asked, talking down to her as she seemed fairly young. She just stared at him for a second. "Alright, give it here", the worker said as he took the the junk food from her. He was about to reach for the sunglasses when she grabbed his arm and quickly flipped him over and pinned him to the ground. She raised her fist into the air and let out a almost adorable battle cry.

Just as she was about to do something a man with Mel Gibson like facial hair came onto the scene to stop her by grabbing her striking arm. He wore a black jacket with a white dress shirt underneath, he too had some blood on his knuckle regions. "Not okay", he said sternly.

The worker was trying to catch is breath as a little girl just rekt his shit. He then looked at the man who saved him. "You have cell phone chargers", the man asked in a tone that showed he was not in a good mood. The worker pointed to the cell phone chargers on a rack by the counter. He grabbed then quickly and saw a jar full of cigars. He grabbed one with aggressiveness and left the store while bringing the little girl with him.

The worker's heart was racing as he got up and picked up the mess the girl made.

 **Outside:**

The man and girl walked outside. The man seemed pissed off as he walked to his limo. He glared at the girl and said, "Get inside the damn car". She did as she was told without saying a single word. She walked into the vehicle to see a man in black and red spandex eating chimichangas. He was wearing a black cowboy hat, had a red, faded shawl on, two katanas on his back, and had the complexion of a avacado having sex with a older avocado. "Once you popped you just couldn't stop, Laura", the man in black and red said to the girl.

"Hey everyone, you finally get to see me, well you probably seen me before if you are a Marvel fan", said Deadpool as he admired his chimichangas. "And if you don't know who I am then you're probably a DC fuck or haven't seen the best rated R movie of all time".

Besides Logan. "Oh you shut your frijoles hole", said Deadpool as he was getting a bit triggered at me.

Why Deadpool, can a you go one story without breaking the 4th wall. "No, this is what you get for adding me into your cringey fanfiction, I should have your Mexican ass deported for this".

Gree…

"You mother fucker, fine I'll let you narate from here", Deadpool said in defeat as he didn't want to relive… "NO".

Laura was confused at this point as Deadpool's 4th wall breaking just made him seem even more mental. She just got into the passenger seat next to the driver's seat and looked out the window. Deadpool then started to write something on his phone.

"Wut u up 2", texted someone named Weasel to the Merc with a map.

"We r starin in a cringy fic", Deadpool texted.

"U sure know how 2 pick em Wade", Weasel texted.

"Not my fault we r stuk in dis shit", textedDeadpool.

As you can see, Deadpool isn't too happy with his present ordeal. Deadpool looked up to see the man we saw before carrying a very old man who was bald. He looked like the kinda guy to be just a sweet old man who tried to be cheery. "Logan, didn't need you to take my pants off for me while I was in the bathroom", the old man said.

"Trust me, I wasn't looking Charles", said Logan. He got to the limo, which looked pretty fucked up with a shotgun blast in one of the doors, individual bullet holes, and broken glass.

"If you didn't know, Logan is now one of those Uber driver's you cancel because you think he's gonna murder you", said Deadpool.

God dammit Deadpool, I was gonna make that joke. Anyways, he brought the former school owner to the back of the limo to sit. Logan then went to go fill the limo with gas. Logan pulled out a yellow envelope with blood on it and pulled out forty dollars. He handed the money to Laura. "Tell the man, forty on pump one", Logan said in haste. She grabbed the money and got out of the vehicle.

She walked it it the store and saw the man she rekt earlier. He saw Laura and hid under the counter. "What do you want", he asked in a scared voice. She put the forty dollars on the counter and pointed the first gas pump. "O-ok, keep the money, it's… on the house", he said nervously to the little girl. She grabbed the money and walked out of the store.

Logan had already started pumping gas into the limo. Laura walked to the limo and got into the front passenger seat. We all know Logan wouldn't let Deadpool in the front. He's lucky he let him in the car, he'd probably tie him on the roof if he wanted too. Then again, he wouldn't want to cause more attention than his car with bullet holes already does.

Logan was about to start when Deadpool yelled, "WAIT". Logan then turned around, very pissed off.

"What the hell do want Wade", Logan said.

"I'm hungry", Deadpool said. Logan groaned, or well snarled, and got mournful the car to go get some food. They all needed it and Deadpool all ate the chimichangas he bought with his sto… I mean borrowed money. Happy now.

"Yes"

Okay then, Logan walked into the store and bought some sketchy sandwiches, something to just fill them up so they can get the hell out of here.

 **Outside the Randomass Gas Station.**

"Yang, why couldn't we just get a cab instead of taking your bike", a girl with short black hair and red highlights said.

"It's cheaper and I wanted to show you how awesome Bumblebee was", Yang said, talking about the name of her bike and not the Yang x Blake ship. Ruby got shivers down her spine from hearing the name, after that nightmare she had about Yang and Bl…

"Uhhhh", Deadpool groaned. "Oh sorry, was I interrupting you", the Merc with a Mouth asked.

Yep, I think you're making the readers uncomfortable too.

"Sorry, I'm just very turned on right now, just give me a second to get my Unicorn and rubber mast…", Deadpool said but then I stopped them since this is my fic.

Moving on, so Ruby continued to whine and said she'd call a cab. Unfortunately her scroll died and Yang forgot hers so they continue to walk to a gas station for some water. They needed to get her motorcycle fixed because if Yang doesn't get her bike fixed she is gonna get pissed, and no one needed that when she was fighting. "She's hotter when she's mad".

Deadpool! Anyways, they walked to the gas station with only one car there. "Look an Uber", Ruby said excitedly as she didn't have to walk anymore.

"Alright then, let's go see if the guy will give us a ride, man he's gonna make me pay double for having to take my ride", Yang said as they walked to the truck. Logan's walked out of the store while the cashier was seemed to finally calm down. They assumed Logan was the driver since he was dressed rather nicely and was walking towards the limo.

"Excuse me sir, can we get a ride", Ruby asked nicely as she pulled out her wallet to grab some lien.

"No", Logan said plain and simple, he didn't want to deal any more crap after all the shit he's been through today. Ruby puffed her cheeks.

"Aww come on, two girls need a ride, we have mon…", Yang said when Logan stopped her.

"I don't want your money", Logan said.

While in the limo Deadpool was eyeing down Yang as she was **clears throat** well endowed. "You're damn right", Deadpool said. Charles was getting bored of waiting but was keeping his composure and Laura was pretty chill as she looked out the window.

"Mini Mex, can you go get Wolvy", Deadpool asked.

"Wade, why can't you go", Charles asked.

"Because I'm too busy watching the show", Deadpool said as he pressed his face against the glass, something he knew Logan didn't like. Laura got out of the car and walked over to the old Wolverine. While the three were arguing about Logan giving them a ride, Laura tugged in his sleeve.

Logan looked to see Laura, he wasn't too happy. "I thought I told to stay in the car wi…", Logan said but Ruby stopped him as she went over to Laura.

"She's so cute", Ruby said loudly as she went over to see Laura. She did have the sunglasses with sweetie on them and a rainbow on her shirt. Laura did not have a mutual fascination as Ruby did. She just wanted to leave right now but had to get Logan. "Is she your daughter", Ruby asked him as she wanted to hug the little girl.

"yes…", Logan said, not very enthusiastic though.

Charles saw the girls with the broken down motorcycle and felt a bit sorry for them. "Wade, can you roll down the window", Charles asked nicely and Deadpool did as he was told. He forgot to take his face if the glass and he dunked his head forward.

"Hello there, do you girls need a ride", Charles asked them.

"Yep", Yang said.

"Logan, give these nice girls a ride and bring the bike", he said.

Logan sighed and Laura wasn't exactly thrilled the brawler and scythe wielded were coming either. The father and daughter walked to the limo and sat in the front. "Fuck", Logan said. "Charles why are we bringing these two with us", he asked.

"Just because we're mutants doesn't mean we can't show human decency", Charles said.

"Especially when one of them have beach balls like those", Deadpool added. The two sister got into the car and were welcomed with the smell of beer and Mexican food. "Why hello…", Deadpool did to Yang but she cut him off by grabbing his balls really tightly

"We're underaged", she said. She then let go, Deadpool wasn't feeling too good though, luckily he had a healing factor.

"Oh fuck, that was kinky", Deadpool said. Ruby felt invigorates me at this point. As Deadpool is well Deadpool, and Logan drank a beer, his healing factor was weak but it was enough to cancel out some of the effects of alcohol. "Why couldn't you make her 18", Deadpool asked in a high pitched voice.

She's my favorite RWBY character and this isn't a smut.

"Suck a cock you bag of dick tips", Deadpool said, meaning Ruby feel even motor unfortunate as his 4th wall breaking makes him look delusional. Yang was actually laughing a bit.

"This guy's a riot", the blonde said.

"Oh let me introduce us, I'm Wade, the man in the back is Charles, the adorable little monster in the front is Logan and the girl who thinks sunglasses make her look cool and edgy is Laura", Deadpool said.

"I'm Yang and this adorable little rosebud here is Ruby", Yang said as she gave her little sister s noogie.

Logan sighed as this was gonna be a long ride.

 **Well, here ya go. Hoped you guys enjoyed.**

 **Deadpool: If you didn't cringe from this**

 **Are. You. Fucking. Kidding me. Why do you have to be here.**

 **Deadpool: I'm just a shameless plug in to promote the rest if your shit. Now if you want to read something that's not Marvel or doesn't have me in it, if us for reason number 2 I will personally come to your house and beat you with a wet fish. So yeah, read the rest of his stuff, is Mexican ass is gonna be deported anyways so might as well make him think he writes good. (#Dpooladvertisment)**

 **Okay… thanks I guess. Anyways, glad you took the time out of your day, night, afternoon, whatever fucking turn zone you're in. That's all for now, I'll see you next time, adios.**

 **P.S. This is a prologue so it has to be short**

 **Deadpool: It's not like your fics are that much longer, but chief of RAGE rights novels worth of words when ever he posts chapters. That's author's story I need to be in.**

 **SILENCIO ESTUPIDO!**


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